Monday, August 3, 2009

I don't know what title to use.



My weekend was slightly different than others. My friend had just come back from her summer vacation and was moving into a new place. She asked me to hang out and follow her while she bought some things for her new place. Of course, being that I have being somewhat stressed all summer, this was a good request. Don't worry, there's nothing interesting about this side of the story.

Saturday:
She asked me to hang out with her while she checked her classes/rooms, etc. I said sure. Normally she would come pick me up, but I told her we should meet somewhere instead. I was in the mood to ride my bicycle. It was HOT! I hadn't gone outside when I made the decision, because had I known, I would have made her come pick me up instead. However, I decided to wear shorts this day. Like those running kinds above mid-thigh. I haven't worn shorts to walk on the road before. The only other times I remember wearing shorts were for a stage performance, and at the beach that looked like a river.

Anyway, I decided to dress like the people in my community. Shorts and a very casual and laid-back t-shirt with canvas, abi sneakers; whatever you people call it. The t-shirt is the type you get for free at a concert or after and event. On the other hand, my friend decided to wear jeans and a really pretty top with sandals. She immediately commented on my dressing. She's like 'I've never seen you dress this way before' and I'm like, me neither. She then let out several sighs that she dressed the way she did cause I liked dressing up and she didn't want to just be in t-shirts and shorts, and I'm like I dressed the way I am because she likes wearing t-shirts and shorts, and I didn't want to look over-dressed.

This was a very funny situation. We laughed excessively. I told her I don't like wearing shorts because aside from the fact that I'm not really comfortable walking around in them, but also because it causes unnecessary attention from men/guys. Just there and then, a couple of guys confirmed what I meant. I also told her that I didn't want to cause anyone to sin <----in other words, lust.


Of course, there are different types of shorts. I wear shorts, don't get me wrong -in the house, around the house, etc. I'm not saying my body is perfect oh, in fact, far from it. I don't like it when guys stare at me. It makes me really, really uncomfortable. I don't mean a casual look, but you know, those kinds? If you're a girl, I'm sure you've received them before and if you're a guy, you've probably given them before.


Today, my question is, if you're a female, what makes you dress the way you do? If you wear a top that exposes half of your breast and you complain that people are staring at you, then that's really weird. The flesh is weak. The truth is that if I saw a girl dress that way, I would also stare secretively, lol. I'm not a lesbian, I promise.

Although, some people are just perverted and are not necessarily affected by the flesh being weak, but just need a lot of help in regards to that. Meaning, even if you cover your entire body, they still come after you in a very perverted way. Hey, I like looking good oh, in fact, I like looking very good, but I don't like doing it at the expense of my body. There's a limit to the shortness, tightness and exposures I can wear.


Who knows, maybe I don't wear shorts because of my multicolored body, or perhaps because of my 'less than' Halley Berry body. Lol. All in all, I'm just wondering why we dress the way we do, we all must have our reasons to wear certain things.

Hmm, this was seriously not the aim of this post. I wanted to talk about my entire, weekend especially the guy I met on Sunday. Oh well...I should really get back to my Biology...


~Al

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

What list are you currently on?


I've been on various lists in my life, I mean there are so many. To name a few;

a) List of Noise makers ~
b) List of Portion workers ~
c) List of Spoon washers ~
d) etc

Kinda pointless even naming them all. However, sometime last week, I found out that I am on the Dean's List. Woohoo...let's celebrate a little
SmileyCentral.com


Alright, I'm done. I was really happy to find out. Not that it's going to make me any more beautiful, or smarter -alas, it won't even make me have more money. How I wish though. Most important even, it won't make me be any closer to God. The point of it is that I'm so happy to know that my effort and hard-work got me on that kind of list. A good one. The question I'm asking myself now is 'Will I be able to remain on it?'

Let's hope.

When I relate this list with my spiritual life however, I just keep wondering, what kind of list has God put me on? I know the list I want to be in, and I know I will definitely 'by His Grace' be in that list and stay there.
The Question I have for you today is 'What list are you currently on?'. Not only for your earthly lives, but your spiritual ones.
Of course I'm not talking about the Dean's list oh. But in your place of work, in your character, etc.

*****************************************


My exams start and end next week and I'm so eager to get it done with but the sad part is that school starts a week after then. Bummer! However, my parents are coming and I'm so excited. I've just been thinking of all the homemade food. Okro soup, Ogbono, Fried Rice, Pepper soup, Egusi soup...please if you know what I mean, start salivating. Oh did I forget to mention the shopping and the fellowships and all of that? Too excited in fact.

Although, I do have to start thinking of what I'll have my parents do, since they've decided to 'quit their jobs and normal daily lives' to stay here for a month! A whole month! The worst part is that where I am is like a dead zone. Do you know those Verizon Wireless commercials where they talk about Dead zones and all, or is it T-mobile? Well, none of the phone companies can bail me out of this one, unfortunately.

Today, I want you to Count Your Blessings. You know the song right? Count your blessings name them one by one...
--------> "Click me" <---------
Familiar tune?

The devil accuses us of things we've not done or should have done but didn't do. He's always picking on us, making us feel worse off about things. It shouldn't be like that. Don't let him win over your situation. I'm sure there may be sometimes you're meant to be happy but you're feeling down, -Yup, the devil's work.

Think Positive, be positive, behave positive and live positive.
"Let the light into your life and the darkness will flee" ~from my Daily Might.

Bye, it's almost time for my Calculus test. Silly people, giving us test a week before exams, Mcheum.


~Al

Monday, July 27, 2009

I asked the air, "Why me?"





Do you ever sit, stare at nothing in particular and wonder to no one around, "Why me?"
Or perhaps you shut your eyes to sleep and you still question the darkness, "Why me?"
Or, maybe something tragic just happened and as the tears roll down your eyes, you cry. "Why me?"

Then we were once the same kind of persons.
There are so many things that have happened in my life that have made me question myself those two words. and honestly, the answers aren't evident sometimes.

The plans I had for myself were simple, according to any other female's plans (maybe some males too) I would believe..

1) Get into a good University for Undergraduates
2) Maybe/maybe not get a good boyfriend who may later be the one
3) Graduate by the age of 21/22
4) Start Masters that same year or the next (For those in Nigeria, perhaps NYSC befor Masters)
5) Get a good job
6) Get Married
7) "Mama...Dada", and live happily ever after.
8) All the above before/by the age of 30

I mean, this is it right? The typical path. However, my case is different in some aspects of the list, and it makes me question "Why me?"

There's a reason for everything that happens in one's life, but sometimes I wonder how that reason can be made manifest. It's true that some of us never find out the reason, while some of us do, but there always is.

A very good reason I've come to realize is that sometimes, we are going on the wrong path and even though there are signs along it that show us to turn around:




We still go on. Our inability to see these signs doesn't make us any less smarter, but for those deeply rooted in Christ, even though we still can't see those signs, even if it's for God to use a helicopter to carry us away, He will do it! At this point though, a lot of damage may have already been caused.
[Figuratively speaking]Perhaps your shoes began to wear and the sole of your feet got injured, or perhaps something flew right into your eyes and you became blind <-----whatever the case anything at all. Although some of those signs along the road may not be from God. When God is trying to lead us through the right path, we may see signs telling us we can't make it there.

Stop Wasting Your time!

Stop Wasting Your time!


In the process, you'll have to walk through the snow, the fog, the heat and the rain. But hold on to God's Unchanging Hands, and you'll get there. Hmmm, maybe not in one piece, but you'll surely get there. Although, He'll help patch you up. That's what He does, honestly!

So, I'm here at the age of Twenty-almost still undergoing my undergraduate degree with about 1,2,3 more years to go....
Do I still question the air much "Why me?" Not really, because the day I got my US-visa, I somewhat knew why it was me. I'll talk about that later...

Anyway! So the next time you go "Why me?", realize that God has a plan and that you're not walking alone. God didn't say we'll never face troubles/hardships/etc, but one thing we should know is that we'll never face them alone

Sometimes, things don't work out the way we want them to because God realizes we are not ready. This can apply in so many ways. I have to study for my Accounting test now, it's tomorrow and it's hard. Please pray for me, thanks!

See ya...


ps: When we do fall astray, He's ready with His rod. Although God's corrections are sometimes hard to take, they're a token of His love. Always remember this:
"My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens" (Hebrew 12:5-6)

When your earthly father flogged/flogs you, he did/does it because he may have thought/think that's the right way, but when your Heavenly Father flogs you, He always knows that's the right way!

~Al

Sunday, July 26, 2009

They called me "Grandma"



"Yes Grandma", B said with a smile.

Back then, my friends called me Grandma. I didn't like hearing it, because it made me feel old. You know, Grandmothers are usually old, but I didn't relate it properly to myself. Of course I wasn't old, and I certainly didn't look old!

Today when I think back, I know why I was called that. I gave serious advises and encouragements!
I'm one to advise and encourage people a lot and honestly, I don't know where I get my words or energy from, but I'm good at it sometimes, and maybe oft times not. But I've advised and encouraged in the past, still advise and encourage in the present and will continue to advise and encourage in the future.

Actually, scratch that bit. I know where the energy and words come from, at least now I know. Anyway, sometimes I wish the way I am in some people's lives, that others will also be that way to me.(Not that some aren't like that though)
Remain positive and optimistic even when there seems to be no way, remembering that no matter how hard, cruel, sad and annoying things may be, there's always a reason for it all.

Being the caretaker over many years now, I've realized I don't know how to be taken care of. It's hard and it's somewhat weird when I think of it. I don't have so many people to talk to, because I know that people go through problems of their own, and for others, I get the wrongest words ever; at least words that are not even related to my concern(I'm not talking about advise from elders though).

It's easy for me to say 'Things will be fine'
It's easy for me to say 'God is in control'
It's easy for me to say 'Congratulations!'
It's easy for me to say 'I'm so happy for you :)'

<----Those statements aren't easy because they are just statements combined by words, but because that's how I really feel for whatever the occasion. Even with those that offend me, I still rejoice in their success and mourn for their downfalls. I believe it's the way God has made me, and I also believe that many are this way, which is a good thing!

"Is it good to care about others more than you care about yourself?"
I really don't know the answer to that question, because in some ways it's good and some, not so good. If I don't take care of myself, how will I care for others?

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself" <---- I try, I honestly really do, but sometimes my love is returned with

a)Lust( a few guys and I'm not even joking)
b)Envy
c)Hatred
d) A word not even found in the dictionary

So what do I do? I'm not a Saint and I don't know it all. I don't even want to know it all, that's boring.

We ask God for wisdom and guidance everyday and for Him to take the lead in all areas of our lives. I want you to know that in many cases, God presents a physical person in His stead for us, and it's up to us to follow His Lead. It's not always hard for me to know there's something troubling a friend, or just a mere acquaintance, and it's not always easy to have the right words to say, but one thing I always pray for is that my words will bless them along the way. It's happened so many times with some people I know, and they thanked me even when I didn't know what I did.

I'm not as strong as you think but my energy regenerates from various directions.

They called me "Grandma", but I'm not sure how much longer I can be just that, but with God by my side, I shall keep having strength and will. I need more Grandmas in my life, the ones that are God sent. I'll keep praying.

...
~Al

Friday, July 24, 2009

Brainstorming



Well, today's topic isn't about either X, Y or Z. Although, I may write few notes about X and Z.

So, I have so many aspirations for the future, like getting married, having children and having a successful publication with the support of my Partners, family and friends. Two years ago, I was so sure of what I wanted, but lately, I can't seem to make up my mind. I'm so confused. <---speaking of my publication, that is.

So, I had various target populations which were divided into Men, Women and Kids but I really want to have an All-in-One Magazine, you know, where it covers a bit of everything and anything with more focus on some particular areas. However, we all know that the truth of the matter is that not all categories apply to everyone. For example, even though a few women might be interested in Electronic gadgets, they are mostly associated with Men and Kids. Do you see my confusion?

I've been brainstorming for a while now. I remember writing all these things down two years ago, but my papers are missing! :(
By the way, my Magazine cover is really pretty, especially the launching one. It's already pictured in my head, in fact I drew it out. There will be four successful ladies on the cover with me included! Isn't that awesome? A theme color will be purple -I'm sure some of you would have realized by now how much in love I am with the purples.

I really need advice right now, and I know I can't do it on my own. Oh well. People have been really supportive and I thank God for that.
Did I already say my friends and I have this company? I won't disclose its name. You have to guess. I must tell you though that it's going to be really successful. However, there's still so much we must do to achieve our goals.

************************************************************************************

So, today, X updated the relationship status on facebook: In a Relationship and it's complicated.

???....no, seriously, with whom?

I'm not one to read horoscopes, nor do I believe in it, but today I stumbled upon one in a magazine. Out of curiosity, I decided to see what mine would say.

VIRGO:
"Stop obsessing over an unattainable guy/girl and you'll soon discover the hottie who's trying to get your attention. You'll be pleasantly surprised."

I laughed at first, then I sighed. The above summarized my Z... Oh well.

Anyway, please assist me in brainstorming. I'll appreciate it a lot.
God bless!

~Al

Monday, July 20, 2009

X, Y & Z

I’m finally back. Thanks to someone, I realized I had a blog and hadn’t written anything in it for some time now. Also, I forgot my login info. Oh well –that’s me for you. A lot has happened in so little time, in fact, the bulk of the happenings took place in the shortest time ever. It seems that my beauty hasn’t deteriorated much over the past few years. I’m not vain, I assure you! Just something I’ve noticed; I mean, if not that, then the world hasn’t changed.

Anyway, so I got asked out by two people on two consecutive days. I really don’t want to discuss about their private lives, because it was probably said in confidence and so I won’t disclose either’s name. The thing about these two persons is that they are friends! I mean, what kind of game are they playing out? Let’s just name them X and Y. X asked me first and Y was very well aware, the following day Y decided to ask me and said X is very aware. To them it’s whoever wins my heart. As if!

I don’t necessarily judge people by what they’ve done in the past, but in X’s case, it’s quite complicated. I applaud the fact that X is God-fearing (X was with a Bible when we first met), not just because of the Bible, but by just listening and observing, you will know. As for Y, I’m not really sure, but for the fact that Y told me I was acting childish because we hugged and I almost slapped Y, Y deserves flogging. Rubbish and Nonsense. I didn’t even waste time to answer Y. Y is about 26, working in Shell , while X is about 26 too, but schooling.

X and Y still call me even though I’ve said no. More so, X’s been inviting me down to Florida for a paid vacation thing. As much as I would like that, I can’t fall into any trap oh. Biko.

*Exhales*

There’s someone out there I love with all my heart, well there are many, but there’s this particular person. My sister has told me to profess my love.

*Hahahahaha*

Like I would do that. If the person can’t see how much likeness is emitted from my actions and words, then too bad for the both of us. There’s more to my X and Y story, but we’ll leave it at that for now. Have you ever been in this X and Y situation? My sister tells me to hold on to X and let Y go, but me I want Z –not X or Y.

:(

~A

Friday, June 26, 2009

New new

It's been almost a year now since I moved, and God knows so much has changed but I know he's still with me. As some of you may know, I'm in a new school, new environment and I even have to make new friends. It's been a somewhat difficult process, but it's getting so much better! It's unbelievably overwhelming.

I used to have a couple of friends in the past, but I have disowned some of them now. They actually think I'm joking when I say it, but it's really true. Anyway, maybe things will change come December. You'll be hearing from me. I may not always have interesting stories, but I'll surely always have something to say!


Al